Burning Skeletons
by ashleighjanebinder
Summary: A Steven Universe oneshot inspired by this prompt: "The skeleton is on fire." "So?" "Why is the skeleton on fire." which I found somewhere on tumblr
1. Chapter 1

This was inspired by a prompt I found on here. Also I am aware the fact that men have less ribs than women is actually untrue and a myth spread by the bible. But for the purpose of this we will pretend it is true, yes?

Garnet stomped into Steven's room. The whole building shook as she slammed the door behind her. Pearl's eyes were torn away from the television to instead look at Garnet, whose face had a thunderous look upon it. "Garnet? Are you okay? What happened? Is Steven okay?" Pearl questioned, her voice becoming more frantic with each question.

"Jamie." Garnet said through gritted teeth. She gave no further explanation, but it wasn't needed.

"Oh." Pearl said dismissively, her eyes slowly creeping back towards the television. "I thought you dealt with that?"

"He is just a child. And I am me. It is to be expected." Garnet paused for a moment as the program that Pearl was watching registered with her. "Pearl. Why are you watching Crying Breakfast Friends? Don't tell me you actually like that show."

"Like it? No." Pearl said sounding disgusted. "This show is obscene. I am merely watching it to try to understand why Steven enjoys it so much. I am failing." Pearl sounded disappointed.

"Oh. I see." Garnet said, her voice faint as she was distracted by something else. She sniffed a couple of times. "I can smell smoke."

Pearl murmured in agreement. "You know, this program would make much be much better if the characters were human. Food doesn't speak. It makes no sense" Pearl spoke quickly, trying to distract Garnet from the source of the burning.

"Pearl. Is that a skeleton?"

"Yes" Pearl replied slowly, almost hesitantly as she started to think that she had made a very bad decision.

"The skeleton is on fire."

"So?"

"Why is the skeleton on fire?" Garnet tried to keep her voice even though Pearl was able to hear the tension in it.

"In lieu of the perversion of All Hallows' Eve that humans like to call Halloween, some Gems thought it would be amusing to take possession of a horde of skeletons. Steven, of course, thought they were cool and tried to make friends with them. I, however," Pearl held up inr finger as she referred to herself, "found burning them to be more effective."

Garnet frowned, but said nothing. Once her gauntlets had materialized she walked over to the skeleton and smashed her fists into it, causing it to crumble to the ground. A few embers lingered on the carpet. Garnet put this out by stamping on them.

"Burning takes time. Smashing is much more effective. This is unlike you Pearl. This was reckless. You could have burned down Steven's room. You should have asked for help. What were you thinking?"

Pearl, who had now gotten up from the sofa, now stood directly in front of Garnet. She was speechless, mostly because she hadn't heard Garnet say so much at once for a long time. She stared up at Garnets face and stammered, tears starting to form. "I … I"

"Don't cry. I'm not angry. I just don't understand. This is the sort of thing I would expect of Amethyst."

"I'm sorry. I just wanted to show you I could deal with things on my own. I wanted you to…" Unable to hold hold back her tears any longer, Pearl began to sob. Not the wailing tears that a small child might emit when not getting their own way, but the silent tears that one chokes out when in real emotional turmoil. Pearl didn't want to cry in front of Garnet. She sniffed as she tried to stop her tears from flowing.

"Pearl," Garnet said gently as she wiped Pearl's tears from her cheek with a soft, lingering touch. "We spoke about this. I am not perfect. Neither are you. There are times when my plans don't work. There are times when they are amazing. The same goes for you. If only you would realize your plans always fail when you have ulterior motives. You freed the gems that possessed the skeletons, didn't you?"

Pearl nodded. "I'm sorry."

"Stop saying that. I'm sorry I didn't make it clear enough to you that you don't need to manufacture missions to get my respect."

"I just wanted you to be my friend again."

"I never stopped being your friend. If I had you would be dead."

"What?" Pearl asked sharply.

"Just kidding." Garnet said as she pulled Pearl into a tight hug.

"Oh" Pearl gasped as she wrapped her arms around Garnet in response. "So, you're not angry about this?"

"No one was hurt." Garnet pushed Pearl away from her. "But they could have been. So never do anything like this again."

"Yes ma'am". Pearl saluted Garnet.

"Never do that again."

Pearl, shocked at herself, let out a small giggle then clamped a hand over her mouth. "Yes. I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me."

The door burst open as Steven ran in. "Hey. Where's Skeletor?"

Garnet and Pearl shared a look before Pearl stepped in. "Steven, I told you those skeletons were not your friends. They were very dangerous."

"I know that. But I wanted to take him trick or treating with me. That would have been so cool."

"That skeleton was a her, not a him." Pearl said calmly.

"How on earth do you know that?" Garnet asked with a laugh.

"You mean you didn't know?," Pearl asked, genuinely shocked that no one had been aware of the skeleton's sex. "I thought the extra pair of ribs was quite obvious."

Steven stared at Pearl for a second then burst into a fit of laughter. Garnet joined in with a couple of chuckles.

"What?" Pearl asked looking from one to the other of the laughing gems. "What?" she tried again, more forcefully when she received no explanation.


	2. Dear Anon

Dear Anon: You probably won't see this but 1) I am not a dude 2) Before you correct someone go and do your research and then back up your statement. I can back my statement up with multiple sources.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not always right, and I do not mind being corrected when I am wrong. However, you have tried correcting me when I had already done my research and was not wrong.

In fact, I don't even mind being corrected when I am right. Everybody makes mistakes. But the tone of your comment has irritated me. Don't go calling people you don't know 'dudes'. I know some girls probably don't mind it, but I personally think that 'dude' should only be used when referring to males, and even if I was guy I think I would have found it rude in this instance.

Also, you weren't even making any constructive criticism. Your comment was totally unnecessary and quite rude. I know my response is also both of these things, but tbh I'm pissed off and can't quite seem to help myself.

(Basically this whole rant stemmed from the fact that I don't like being called 'dude'. )


End file.
